Only in This School do You Hear Things Like This. ...Right?

In honor of our first week back in school, I have compiled a number of wise sayings which our students have bestowed upon us, and some of the things I have said in return. Enjoy!

First, a sampling of answers given on tests and quizzes:

5. What name is given to the President's advisers? "adversaries" -K

7. As new things are discovered the dictionary will change, but what is the one book that will never change? “The blue bact [sic] speller” -J

2. What was President Lincoln doing when he was shot? “Ding [sic] (dying)” -J

 Then a short story:

One day I told J to stand in the corner.  He did, but then he started kicking the door.  I told him to stop.  Soon, he started peeling a poster off of it.  I told him to stop.  He was docile for a little bit, and then he started looking around and talking to the rest of the class.  I told him to be quiet.  A short while later he started making an awesome squeaking noise by rubbing his palms on the wall.  I again told him to stop.  At this point he could stand it no longer, and so turned around and asked plaintively, "But what am I supposed to do?"  I informed him that that was kind of the point of being made to stand in the corner.

The next time he was told to stand in the corner, he apparently remembered what I had said, and simply laid his forehead against the corner, and rested his weight on that, his little hands hanging limply in front of him for the entire fifteen minutes.

I didn't get a picture on this occasion, but here is one of a later variation:

 

 Next a note written by K:

“Dear Math, I'm sorry I can't find your X. Just accept she is gone and move on.


And lastly, a number of sentences that were actually spoken out loud in our class:

"That's what I hate about books; they never know how to say things properly." -D

“J! Stop playing with your lip and do your work.” (Me)

"Will you tell me what they are asking me?  My English book has bad grammar and I can't understand it." -D

"Oops! I left my pencil in the toilet." -J